Does your yoni tense up prior to or during penetration? This episode delves into the process of yoni darmouring as a means of cultivating inner-safety and unlocking receptivity on all levels of mind-body-soul. Join me as I share a bit of my own journey through exploring dearmouring practices. Yoni Dearmouring is the practice of dissolving barriers to intimacy on all levels: energetic, psycho-emotional, and the physical. The physical practices such as massage are most accessible; however, the deeper work transcends the physical alone and includes the cultivation of self-awareness as well as experiences of deep emotional release and catharsis.
By accessing this Podcast, I acknowledge that the entire contents are the property of Catrina Armendariz, or used by Catrina Armendariz with permission, and are protected under U.S. and international copyright and trademark laws. Except as otherwise provided herein, users of this Podcast may save and use information contained in the Podcast only for personal or other non-commercial, educational purposes. No other use, including, without limitation, reproduction, retransmission or editing, of this Podcast may be made without the prior written permission of Catrina Armendariz, which may be requested by contacting catrina@catrinaarmendariz.com.
This podcast is for educational purposes only. The host claims no responsibility to any person or entity for any liability, loss, or damage caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly as a result of the use, application, or interpretation of the information presented herein.
TRANSCRIPT SUMMARY
Episode 2: Yoni Dearmouring and Cultivating Emotional Safety
By Catrina
Dearmoring: Unleashing the Power Within
When it comes to female sexuality, there is often a lack of open and honest discussion surrounding topics such as pleasure, desire, and personal empowerment. However, more and more women are reclaiming their sexuality and exploring practices that allow them to connect deeply with their bodies and experience pleasure on their own terms. One such practice is dearmoring, specifically yoni dearmoring, which focuses on releasing tension and armor in the pelvic region, in the entire body, and in the psycho-emotional and energetic bodies.
Yoni is a Sanskrit term referring to the womb, and encompasses the reproductive organs and the surrounding areas such as the vulva and vagina. The goal of yoni dearmoring is to unlock the armor and allow the vagina and the heart to be more receptive and responsive to touch and life. This practice can be approached in various ways, spanning the physical, emotional, and energetic.
Physical dearmoring practices often involve massage techniques, both internally and externally. Internally, one can explore the vagina using fingers and acupressure points to release tension. Externally, massage techniques help awaken one to stored tension throughout the body, fostering an increased somatic awareness, as well as provide a means to release and/or process these stored tensions. Additionally, working with a pelvic floor therapist can aid in gaining awareness of and releasing tension and irregularities in the pelvic floor and in exploring the yoni mapping tool using “the clock”.
Emotional and mental dearmoring practices are equally important, as they allow for the release of trauma and the cultivation of a safe space within oneself. Engaging in shadow work, facing uncomfortable emotions, and creating time and space to be present with and accept these emotions are all essential components of this process. Techniques such as breathwork, meditation, and somatic therapy can further facilitate emotional and mental dearmoring.
It is crucial to note that dearmoring is not a linear process, and there is no “perfect” way to approach it. It is a dynamic and ongoing journey of exploration and self-discovery. Each individual’s experience will vary, and it is essential to be open and curious about the ebbs and flows that one may encounter along the way.
Pausing at stages of escalating intimacy and practicing self-inquiry into and attuning to one’s desires is also a crucial part of the dearmoring process. Being present and attuned to one’s body and its needs are key foundations in guiding decisions regarding the level of intimacy one desires at any given moment. Communication with partners is key, especially in establishing consent and agency in a sexual experience. Engaging in open and honest conversations about desires and boundaries can lead to a mutually satisfying and growth-oriented journey.
It is also worth mentioning that readiness levels for penetration, orgasm or sexual activity can be influenced by one’s menstrual cycle. Ayurvedic principles suggest that during menstruation, it is best to avoid penetrative sex or orgasms to allow the energy to flow downward and the blood to move outward. This aligns with the natural downward flow of energy during menstruation. Thus, any drop in libido in this time is a simple cue from nature to draw inwards in a more subtle way.
When it comes to the use of toys, personal preferences may vary. Some individuals may prefer manual stimulation over the use of toys, while others may find toys to be an effective tool in exploring their bodies. It is essential to listen to one’s body and respect its preferences and desires.
Ultimately, dearmoring is an individual practice that fosters self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-love. By creating a safe space to explore one’s desires and release tension, individuals can experience a deeper connection with their bodies and an increased sense of personal empowerment. It is a journey that unfolds with time and requires patience, curiosity, and openness. Embracing one’s body as a temple and embracing the nuances and intricacies of one’s being can lead to a profound transformation and a more vibrant, fulfilling experience of life and pleasure.
If you are interested in incorporating dearmoring practices into your life, various resources and professionals are available to guide you through the process. From somatic therapists, massage therapists, ayurvedic practitioners, sexologists, sex body workers, sex and intimacy coaches, to pelvic floor specialists, there are many individuals who can support your journey of self-discovery and help you navigate the complexities of intimacy and desire.
As you navigate the waters of sexuality, I encourage you to embrace the power within you to reclaim your body, your desires, and your pleasure. May you create a safe and loving space to explore the depths of your being and celebrate the beauty of your erotic innocence and sexuality. Allow dearmoring to be a transformative practice that awakens the senses, heals old wounds, and empowers you to fully embrace and express your authentic self.
Remember, your journey is unique, and there is no right or wrong way to engage in dearmoring. Be kind to yourself, listen to your body, and honor your desires as you embark on this transformative path. Embrace the power within you that is eagerly awaiting to be unleashed.
TRANSCRIPT
When you walk into a room, your energy speaks for you.
Energetics are so important.
Working on that level of de-armament is powerful.
There are a lot of practices that focus, and I think, you know,
it’s the case for many women that they imagine Yoni De-armouring as, “okay, I’m going to get a dildo, glass dildo…
I’m going to get whatever
it is, some sort of object that
I’m going to penetrate myself with”.
And there’s no sort of build up or lead
in into the experience of allowing the vagina to
release and soften and surrender and receive that penetration,
to literally ask and beg for the penetration versus
trying to force the penetration to happen. Hello.
Hello my loves! Bienvenidos!
Welcome to my podcast.
I’m Catrina Armendáriz and I’m your host.
I’m also a somatic therapist, sex and intimacy coach,
and I’m the founder of Esencia, an online subscription
platform launching this fall with sex education, sensual yoga,
and other embodiment practices to support you in feeling
fully alive in your body again.
Meditation. Breathwork. Movement. You name it.
In this podcast, I invite you into
my journey through sexuality and all things
alive and evolutionary in my heart.
Join me as I open the door to
my most intimate and vulnerable moments and share
some of the wisdom I’ve gained through over
30-years of tantric and embodiment practices.
This is, disclaimer, a shame-slaying podcast.
So, if you’re not quite ready to get rid of
that shame, this might not be the podcast for you.
But if you are ready to step into that fire of transformation,
this is the place and this is the space for you.
This will nourish your heart’s blossoming, your reclamation
of outrageous pleasure, your fuck yes energy, and
your transformation into your most empowered self.
Are you ready for this?
If you are enjoying this podcast, please rate
and review so we can get this out
to people all around the world desiring to
dive into this beautiful experience along with us.
Okay, love you all.
Let’s dive in.
Hello, my loves!
It is a beautiful evening in the Punaverse.
It’s a cute little term that they use to refer
to this little beautiful area that I live in.
And I thought I would hop on and record this
session as I’ve been thinking about it for a while
and so much time has passed, probably a couple of
months since I initially visualized this, recording this episode.
It’s on dearmoring, yoni dearmouring.
And I’ve been thinking about what’s the
best way to put this episode out.
And all of a sudden I’m in the restroom and
brushing my teeth, getting ready for bed, and I’m like,
there’s no best way except to just do it.
That is the best way.
So yoni dearmoring. Yoni, for those of you who haven’t heard the
term before, it’s a Sanskrit term referring to the womb.
And when I say yoni, I’m referring to the pelvic
region, the organs for reproduction in the female body.
It’s, including the vulva, includes the vagina.
The vulva is the external anatomy, and
the vagina is the internal anatomy.
And the dearmouring of the yoni represents
or speaks to the releasing of the tension.
We’re literally unlocking the armor and letting it fall
away and allowing it to be palpable and receptive
and responsive to touch and to life.
And at least for me, in my early
years of being introduced to Yoni dearmoring,
for me, it was a very physical practice.
And it is that’s one aspect of
it, that’s one component of it.
There’s the dearmoring of…mmmm… using yoni mapping.
So entering into the vagina with the fingers
and using the tool of the clock.
So bringing the fingers through each
of the positions on the clock.
12…1-2-3-4-5-6… to just palpate internally and to
be in the experience of that and to
notice where there are sensations of numbness, where
there are sensations of constriction tightness and where
there’s sensation of more looseness.
And just witnessing and noticing and mapping the
internal cavity in this way and having a
consistent practice of it so that you can
see what lifestyle practices are affecting any sort
of differentiation of that tension or sensation.
There’s also a lot of external
massage techniques that can be engaged.
And internally, there’s so much more.
There’s so many acupressure points internally that can
be activated and stimulated and worked through as
regards any sort of tension release.
And then externally or awakening externally, we have the
same thing as well as we have many different
sorts of massage techniques you can incorporate just to
become alive in that area and again build a
somatic awareness of the state of the yoni.
And so there are a lot of practices that
focus, and I think it’s the case for many
women that they imagine Yoni de-armoring as, okay,
I’m going to get a dildo glass dildo.
I’m going to get whatever it is, some sort
of object that I’m going to penetrate myself with.
And there’s no sort of build up or lead
in into the experience of allowing the vagina to
release and soften and surrender and receive that penetration.
To literally ask and beg for the penetration versus trying
to force the penetration to happen, which I think is
just the case for most women, as I’ve witnessed.
And what I’d like for this episode to be is
an opportunity to explore all the ways we can dearmour on an emotional on a spiritual or energetic level,
mental level, before we even get to the physical.
When you walk into a room, your energy speaks for you.
Energetics are so important.
And working on that level of dearmorment is powerful.
But even, let’s just say, on the physical level,
that first date or that first episode where I
shared about my cervical orgasm, I invited this gentleman
to give me a breast massage.
And I thought of this as I was brushing my teeth.
Because I just completed I just completed
recording the YouTube video for breast massage
techniques and Guided Practice, and as well
as the first episodes for the subscription
platform for breast massage and guided practice.
And I realized, and as I’m preparing for my Yoni
de-armoring videos, I’m realizing, wow, a big part of
that video is actually going to be the breast massage.
Why?
Because that is a dearmouring.
The heart space. The heart is a generator of love.
And the breast and being with the breast, being present
with them even on just an energetic level and then
moving into the physical level through self touch.
It’s a beautiful way of attuning to emotions, allowing emotions
to arise to the surface of the awareness and being
present with them and resourcing through this generative capacity of
love that we always have access to.
So transforming and experiencing those emotions with
acceptance, being present with them, realizing our
capacity to be with them.
This is de-armament.
So typically on my dates, if I am desiring some
sort of physical touch, I have them massage me, I
direct them to massaging me in my breasts.
And that’s what I did with this gentleman
when we were at the hot springs.
I guided his hands to my chest and I just started to
show him how I wanted to be touched around the breasts.
Because for me, that’s what allows me to start to soften
and to feel his presence and to be connected to him
and to start to be in my body more.
So even that I’m not going straight to the yoni.
It’s not like, oh, we need to touch the yoni.
I need you to play with my clit, I need you to
massage my labia in this or that way, I need you to
press against it in this way, or put that acupressure point on.
No, not even right.
If I’m ready for him to touch me in
a way that feels more intimate, I want that.
I want the hands on the breast and I want
to see how receptive he is to the touch that
I desire as I guide him along my breast, as
I pause on the breast with his hands. Right.
So, Yoni dearmouring, there are so many different ways
that you can approach the dearmorment of a Yoni.
I’ve seen videos that guide you into the
technique of once you have the dildo on
the vaginal opening that you squeeze the pelvic
muscles, you release, squeeze, release, squeeze, release.
And then you let it come in.
Yeah.
And I think there’s so much that we can do
before we even get to a point of imagining penetration,
de-armouring and penetration to put them hand in hand.
I think that’s a conditioned expectation and response that
we can just kind of get curious about and
start to drop out of and start to explore,
take the pressure away of needing to have insertion
and penetration and being okay with exploring what the
armament through the entirety of the body is and
especially the mental and emotional body.
First and foremost, what am I needing to
feel safe mentally and emotionally in this experience?
Because if I’m not, then I’m going to tense up,
I’m going to start to armor up, and that tension
is going to be alive in the body.
Whatever traumas we haven’t processed, they are in
the body, lodged in the body as tension.
And whilst we can go through physical practices, body work
of all sorts, especially acupressure or deep trigger point massage
or even subtle body work like marma points, as we
start to work through the body in that way, we
can become very present with the tension and the pain
that’s existing in certain areas of the body and engage
release practices with the breath exhaling and softening the entirety
of the body and the tension as you allow someone
to push into or press into or activate these points
where attention is locked.
And as you start to release and experience a
sense of surrender with that pain, you start to
notice a whole plethora of sensations beyond the pain
that start to unlock on top of emotional releases
that come along with it.
I remember being in New York
City having my first marma treatment. Marma.
For those of you who haven’t heard
it, marma is an Ayurvedic acupressure therapy
that originated in martial arts.
I can’t remember the name of the martial arts
farm, but it was a way that warriors would
touch their opponents in the battlefield, right?
Because if you can activate a specific marma or
marma points, then you could win over and defeat
your enemy essentially paralyzed nervous system or whatever it
is you’re needing, right, to engage in the battlefield.
But that’s the way it works.
It’s an intimate connection to the nervous system.
And so my first marma therapy session in
New York City was with Virabadrasana Tansi.
Vira, Bud originally, as I knew him
in his tiny little massage studio.
And Bud, Vira, is a very he is a bhakti yogi.
And my mentor at the time, a meditation mentor, spoke
wonders of him, as did his wife, as did a
few other people colleagues in the meditation community.
When we were gathering one day and I just felt the
indication of, oh, he’s someone who’s going to be really safe
for me to be in a body work experience with.
I had a lot of trauma that I needed
to work through, that I desired to work through,
around touch with men in that container.
And I just knew he would be a really great person
for me to go and start to work it out.
So I booked the session and I’m in his studio
on the Lower East Side, and all I can remember
right now is he pressed on a marma point near
my heart, somewhere on the sternum heart area.
And I felt a lot of tightness and constriction.
At first my body tensed up, but again, knowing that there
was a safe space, I knew I could release into it.
And he felt that too.
And so he worked his way through the
body and he came back there again and
spontaneously, I remember tears coming through.
I remember breathing really heavily into this area.
I remember having such a powerful, spontaneous
emotional release that was quite loud.
And at the same time, I wasn’t concerned
for my loudness in any way, interrupting any
of the other rooms around us.
In fact, I just kind of assumed no
one else wasn’t in the rooms around us.
I assumed this was normal, and it is for those
who were ready to go through that experience with it.
So I had a very loud cathartic release as
he worked through my heart area, just literally holding
that space and holding that pressure point.
And that was probably literally my first experience
of de armor meant through body work itself.
And it was very revealing, it was very
telling, and it planted a seed for me
for further dearmament through body work.
But moreover, it started a journey for me of
recognition that there was a lot of tightness and
constriction that was desiring to be opened and released.
And there were a lot of emotions tied into that constriction
of the chest area and having a glimpse of how powerful
and how intense that release was in that session, which is
probably just like 60 to 90 minutes long.
I knew I needed a container, an appropriate
time and space to go deeper into that.
But even just having that awareness is powerful.
Knowing that, oh my gosh, what is this?
I was just so unconscious of it, so unaware
that there was this tightness and constriction on my
physical body that was completely tied into a specific
emotional release that was desiring to be met. Right?
We have intuitions around it, we have ideas
and concepts around it, but to have an
embodied experience of it was an entirely different
story, and that’s what that was.
So dearmouring practices include mental
emotional practices of trauma release,
emotional release, discharging practices.
You could utilize breath work
to catalyze that experience.
Working with somatic therapist is very helpful.
M really diving deep into shadow work, really.
And what I mean by that is facing the
uncomfortable emotions, creating time and space to be present
with them, to allow them to move, to be
energy in motion, allowing them to be alive.
As uncomfortable as that might feel at first, like
allowing them to move, they start to transform.
But the more we avoid them, the more we’ll feel
it in the body as discomfort, as a subtle growth
of discomfort until it gets to a point where it
reaches a threshold and it’s discomfort on a level where
we have no other choice but to figure out a
solution to getting rid of it.
And we don’t want to have to get to that point.
We want to be preemptive.
We want to be proactive in our evolution.
Yeah, why not?
If we have the tools accessible to us, why not?
And then we have these physical practices
of body work that can help to
facilitate dearmament, for example, marma therapy acupressure.
And you can explore that
also internally, not just externally.
And what I mean by internally is in the you
know, as I mentioned before, when I introduced the mapping
of the pelvic cavity, you can actually see a pelvic
floor therapist to help you do that. And I did.
I worked with a pelvic floor therapist
when I was in New York City.
And that was a beautiful experience in practice
to have a professional clinician inter me and
to just experience what that was like when
it wasn’t a gynecologist, for example, entering stirrups
and being in a very dry clinical experience
that feels very traumatizing in its own way.
But opening up to what it’s like to work
with a women’s pelvic floor therapist who really wants
to help you gain awareness of the tension and
the pain and the irregularities in the pelvic floor
and support you in gaining harmony there.
That was beautiful.
It felt safe and it felt nice to
be witnessed in that experience with another woman.
You can also have yoni massages performed
by other people, women, men, however you
prefer to have them gendered.
And what that means is they’ll be providing
the touch externally on the vulva and then
meeting you as you’re ready for penetration, witnessing
you in that experience, being present with you,
allowing you to have agency and an awareness.
Of when you’re ready to and desiring to be
penetrated rather than it being that conditioned response of
I have to penetrate at some point. Let’s make it happen.
Let’s push this.
Um, and this is actually one of the
reasons why I personally don’t use lubrication.
I don’t use lubricants in sex.
I used to, when I was a very
young girl, use lubricants with my sex toys.
And then I got to a point in my
embodiment where I realized if my body is not
naturally lubricating, it doesn’t want to receive penetration, and
I’m not going to force it to receive it.
And I’m just going to sit with that experience
of being in my body and witnessing what it
could be desiring other than penetration and exploring that,
not feeling the pressure to have to proceed into
a penetrative sexual experience with a partner because that’s
what I’ve been conditioned to believe what sex is
supposed to be for us.
Being okay with witnessing my body in its ebbs and
flows when I’m alone in self-pleasure and having established
firm comfort in what my body is asking for, being
able to tune into that with more ease and facility
in a partnered experience, and then being able to speak
and communicate what it’s desiring and eating.
And this is not such a fluid process
as I just painted it to be.
There’s going to be kinks.
You’re going to need to work out as
you move along the process with each partner.
And I think that’s the beauty of the journey, just
knowing that as humans we’re infallible and it’s so fun
and beautiful to be able to go through the journey
of exploration of yourself in the presence of another human
being and allowing them to also go through that journey
with themselves and with you.
And sharing in this way is just so beautiful.
Like this humility and this openness
and this love and this tenderness.
Once we start to cultivate a space of giving
it to ourselves, we start to identify and discern
more easily those who can also hold that space
with us, if that’s what we’re desiring, right?
And ultimately, I think that is what we’re all
desiring, to be met in that same way.
So I do have a video that I’ll be recording in
the next week for Yoni De-Armoring, which at the point
of releasing this episode, it’ll already be on YouTube and it’ll
hopefully be on a subscription platform, which you can find on
the website or through my social media.
And I’m really excited, I have to say, I’m
really excited to share the dearmoring video.
And as you’ve heard through this episode so far,
this is just one practice of many that you
can explore and incorporate in your self practice.
And I highly encourage you to just be curious, to
be curious, to be open, to be in awe.
To embracing your body as this beautiful temple that you
are dropping to your knees in sweet devotion to receive,
to viewing worship as receptivity rather than like a complete
loss of agency and a self abandonment.
Seeing worship of your temple as a deep,
intimate connection to your body, as your heart.
To experiencing love, deep love through
embodying you because you are love.
To experiencing the love that you are, to being present
with you, with the ugly, with the parts of you
that self-abandon, with the parts of you that judge
you, with the parts of you that resist you, being
present, with all of those parts of you holding all
those parts of you in deep love.
Those are the parts that hold tension
on the physical level in our body.
And this is how we begin to create a safe space.
To be with it and to allow it to be held
in that space of love, to be felt in the space
of love, to be cradled in that space of love.
To be nourished, to be dearmed, to be healed and
transformed when it can exist, coexist with love rather than
feel like it has to be cast away and hidden.
My endeavor, my goal is to create guided practices
that can allow us as women to come back
into a space of safety internally with ourselves.
And from that space of safety, a recognition and
embodiment of our agency in our lives, transcending from
spaces of protection and needing to be armored into
a place of fully feeling alive in our bodies
and trusting ourselves, trusting our bodies, trusting the intuition.
Because we’ve created this space to fine tune our
awareness on that subtle level to the nuances of
our body, to the nuances of our heart, to
the nuances, the whispers that our being is constantly
delivering, providing, gifting us with.
When we finally drop the walls of our awareness
and be present with ourselves, it can be scary.
Scary beautiful.
I also want to share that
there’s no perfection in de armament.
I recently had sex with a
new partner, and it was amazing.
It was so beautiful.
I had more cervical orgasms.
Not as intense and not as powerful as that very
first one from the first episode, but beautiful nonetheless, and
welcomed, and I’m in deep gratitude for them.
But even in that experience where I’m receiving
deep pleasure in our sex, I’m also armed.
And I’m noticing that there’s tension in the body.
And so did he.
He’s a body worker and a movement specialist,
and he had asked me, and he’s young,
so he asked as best as he could.
He’s like, I’m trying to figure out
what she wants, speaking about my yoni.
And I said, yeah, tell me more.
He’s like, I can feel that there’s
still quite a bit of tension there.
And we had just met, and I
was just desiring to ravage him.
Like, literally, my desire was so, so strong for him.
Very animalistic like.
I had a huge animal, fiery Lionesse that
just wanted to be unleashed in his presence.
And she’s playful, and she was fun, and I loved that.
But she was fiery, and she really wanted
to take on every inch of him.
And I had never experienced that, actually,
that I can recall to that intensity.
I remember being on the other end of it with
many of my partners, actually in a not fully consensual
way, where I’m like, oh, what is this energy?
Why am I being met with this intensity?
I’m not feeling that.
And whilst he did verbalize that this was like,
the first time he had had consensual sex in
a while, in a long while, retrospectively, I wonder
how consensual it actually is, or was for him
after, like, the experience itself, the desire was consensual.
The desire to initiate sex was consensual.
But I wonder if the sex itself
was fully what he was desiring.
Actually, I don’t wonder.
I know on many levels he was desiring
to be met with less of that fire,
which I was like, okay, that’s interesting.
I’m really grateful nonetheless to have been able to
unleash her and have that beautiful experience with him.
But all of that to say is that even in
that deep pleasure and that fun, and that play and
that excitement, and even in me being able to have
orgasms and deeply appreciate them, my body was still armored,
there was still room for more.
And I told him, I said, oh,
well, that’s not a physical thing.
And he was like, oh, well, we should stop having sex.
Let’s not have sex.
And I wasn’t ready to call either way.
I just received what he said, and I
was like, okay, well, let’s just flow and
see what goes, like, take a pause.
I asked for the pause, and yeah, my body didn’t
desire to be penetrated again, though it did desire it
in time, and it wanted that time for the development
of that further dearmament for deeper penetration.
He wasn’t up for that, though.
But I share that because it’s important to know
that there’s no perfection as it regards dearmament.
Ebbs and flows are natural in the process. Cycles.
We’re cyclical beings, and it’s good to tune
into maybe even what part of your cycle?
Are you feeling more armed?
Are you maybe not necessarily
even desiring to be penetrated?
Ayurvedically speaking,
we don’t encourage… we don’t encourage
penetrative sex or orgasms during menstruation because
we want the energy to pull downward
and we want blood to move outward.
We don’t want to introduce energetics that are
going to move the pranavayus or the air
element in the body in a different direction.
We want the movement to be downward
flow, not upward, outward, not circulating.
We want downward flow.
And so even that point of a cycle, just kind
of witnessing and seeing how the body is feeling around
penetration or how it’s feeling generally in terms of its
DeArment and what it’s desiring for dearmament right?
Like, is it a dearmoring
experience to be in menstruation?
Does the body feel like it’s releasing tension
as it’s releasing those toxins in the blood?
There’s just nice questions to get curious about,
for self inquiry to engage on a deeper
level of intimacy with your own body.
At what part of your cycle are you feeling
this hungriness and this aliveness to ravage someone?
For me, in this case, it was when I was fertile.
At what point do you feel like you want to be ravaged?
Is there a part of your cycle
where that comes alive for you?
Just noticing and witnessing, being open to seeing if
there’s a pattern there and being open to witnessing
that that pattern might change, not being rigidly attached
to the way it should be.
I think there’s like a rigid attachment that on a
subtle level, a lot of women have around their menstruation
aligning with the moon in a certain way.
We can also just witness that the moon has
a cycle that is consistent and that it’s a
beautiful mirror to our cycle in the fact that
it’s about the same number of days.
Yes, but do we have to have a
precision of alignment with the moon no.
In fact, in Vedic astrology, we see cause and reason
for there to be fluidity and more individuality for each
woman’s cycle in terms of its start and end.
In Jyotish or Vedic astrology, if you’re born into a
family that’s cognizant of this, a mother would map
her daughter’s first bleed to the minute and identify
using that nakshatra or that moon constellation, which is
more precise than the zodiac constellations.
There’s 108 different delineations or areas of
the Moon constellation that Jyotish or Vedic
astrology has identified in terms of differentiation
of the human expression on a mental,
emotional, as well as physiological level.
So being able to map or date your daughter’s
first menstruation, we can start to see a lot
of indications for how her cycle will unfold.
Knowing that gives a bit more flexibility, fluidity, and
compassion for the diversity of how a woman’s cycle
can look relative to the Moon itself.
Yeah, that was a lot for a short amount of time.
I like that.
Okay. Right.
So going on that imperfection or the fluidity and the
ebbs and flows of de armament, just being a witness
to how that shifts and changes for you, being curious
and being open to seeing if there are patterns, but
letting that be a very innocent process.
Not needing to analyze it,
but simply just being present.
Because in your presence, your awareness is acute.
It’s refined, it’s broad spectrumed, it has
room for simultaneity, it has room for
focus, has room for his spaciousness.
It’s not limited.
How about that’s?
And letting it also inform you on your
readiness for escalation of intimacy even before penetration.
Right.
Like how I express that my inviting a partner
into massaging my breast, that, for me, is an
indication, once I’m ready for that, once I’m ready
to have their hands on my breast, and it’s
consensual if it’s something that they’re desiring.
I know that we’ve escalated intimacy.
I know that I’m desiring more, but not
quite ready for anything else quite yet.
I just want to be in that experience and see how
the de armoring comes in that experience, like what starts to
drop and what starts to open and what starts to throb.
And how does desire start to
build or unfold in that experience?
Does it feel more like a loving sibling relationship?
Do I feel less erotically alive in a
polarity of I want to be penetrated?
And do I feel erotically alive?
In a sense of I’m just feeling completely present and
my body just feels at home, but it’s not feeling
charged to consummate energy in any specific sort of way.
Just feels at home and alive, and this
is a beautiful thing, or it feels deeply
present and in love, and my emotions are
so like they’re unfolding in a beautiful way.
We can have so many different
experiences as intimacy starts to escalate.
And I think it’s so crucial and essential
to have these embodiment practices so we can.
Tune into what the body, mind, heart, spirit is desiring
for that evolution that is desiring to unfold and following
that because as soon as that person’s hands on my
breast, I’m going to start to see, is the eroticism
building, am I wanting to escalate intimacy even more, moving
towards perhaps an act of penetration?
Is it making me desire penetration more?
But maybe I’m not going to
want that yet in this experience.
And I know that because my body’s just way
too armored, but it’s softening in a progression that
feels good and that feels like is really alive
for me and feels inviting for this person to
be seen as a partner, a potential partner.
There’s so many ways we can move through
a dating situation as we’re exploring dearmament.
And that’s the beauty of going through
our individual practice of dearmament, right?
Until we cultivate this supreme level of awareness with our
own body, it would be really challenging to engage that
when another person’s in the picture with us.
And now we’re starting to
engage mutuality of experience.
We’re starting to navigate another person’s mental, emotional and
physical state and how much are they needing and
asking for someone to caretake for their experience, to
assist them in their unfoldment and how much you’re
ready to even show up in that way, or
not desiring that at all.
All the complexity of intimacy that comes into play with
a new partner and even with someone who isn’t new.
Because we are dynamic beings and we’re
consistently growing, evolving and changing, ideally.
And being present for that evolution of your
partner in every moment, allowing that spaciousness for
them to fluidly explore their growth and their
mutations and their shifts, their ebbs and flows.
All right, I feel like that’s a great place to end.
Let me breathe and see.
Yeah.
I’ll answer a question someone
recently asked me on Instagram.
They asked if I preferred glass dildos,
I mean, dildos over hands, manual touch.
And this is in response to stories that I
had put up regarding choosing the appropriate or the
best body safe substrate for your dildos.
So glass over crystals, for example.
In this case, crystals are porous
like crystal, quartz, jade, obsidian, stone.
These porous devices can trap bacteria and mold and they’re
not necessarily what is the word I’m looking for?
sanitizable because of this.
And so it is suggested to go with
a non porous glass borosilicate glass suggested especially
for temperature, play it’s more durable.
That was his question in response to my stories.
Because I did say that I have not
actually used toys in so many years because
I don’t have a penetration practice either.
I don’t use vibrators because I don’t want
to overstimulate the clitoris and numb it out.
Like I’m so sensitive, I’ve sensitized to touch
to the point where I could literally hover
my finger over my clit just ever so
softly and receive an orgasm through that.
And so having a vibrator on there
is not actually pleasurable for me.
It’s attention orgasm, it fast forwards too quickly to
a peak orgasm, whereas I love the valleys.
And so I have not had a penetration practice
with toys in honestly, probably since my early twenty
s and I’m 37 now and I haven’t used
a vibrator since my 20s either.
So, in response to his question,
yes, I prefer manual stimulation 100%.
And I did buy a glass dildo recently for
the dearmament videos and the dearmouring practice.
And I did go ahead and explore with it and it
was nice to have the orgasm with it, but I did
witness how naturally my body just wasn’t really desiring to be
penetrated by glass and that’s always been the case and that
is why I let go of that dildo practice.
However, that being said, it is still a useful practice
for self practice to explore the internal environment of the
vagina, to seeing how armored the cervix is, for example,
or how there might be not any sensation on the
cervix when you press against it with your dildo. You know, once
you’ve opened to penetration, that is.
You don’t want to force that experience.
Um, and that’s actually a reason why I really
enjoyed the sex I had with both of these
guys because they were very curious and open to
exploring the different ways they could penetrate me for
providing stimulation to the different acupressure points.
Especially the gentleman who was a body worker
and very familiar with using the tools of
his body to stimulate different points of the
body and in this case, my erogenous zones
internally, it was so therapeutic and beautiful.
Okay, all right, we’ll go ahead and end there.
It’s late and I did open up for coaching about
two weeks ago to take on coaching clients and I’ve
got a full day of coaching tomorrow, very abundant.
I’m very excited and I should get some
good rest, so I’m present with them.
I love you all and I’m sending you all big hugs and
just a big heartgasm from the Punaverse. Until next time.
A hui hou (Hawaiian for “until we meet again”).
Thank you my loves, for joining me on this journey.
I hope that this episode was fruitful for you.
To access any resources reference, please
visit the episode at catrinax.com where you’ll
find the podcast archive.
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Espero que hayas disfrutado este episodio.
Gracias por darte este espacio conmigo.
YONI DE-ARMOURING GUIDED PRACTICE
BREAST MASSAGE GUIDED PRACTICE